Godolphin Teachers' Favourite Xmas Traditions

As we slowly creep upon the Christmas holidays (much, much slower than any of us would like) we decided to bring some festive joy into all of your lives and ask Godolphin teachers what Christmas traditions they complete every year. Thus, we sent our team into the interviewing trenches to uncover this information, specifically for your benefit. You’re welcome. Enjoy. 

(Disclaimer: As ever, no teachers were harmed in the making of this article) 

Mr Fulford-Brown:

“Gosh, I'm in charge of cooking. Okay. Uh. presents in the morning. Presents before food? Uh, when I was younger, stocking presents first. You’re allowed one in your room. If you wake up early, then that keeps you going until 6 a.m”

At least we know this History teacher has his priorities in order. Food and a shockingly detailed present plan. Sounds good to us. One question remains: 6am? Far too early, even for Christmas, but we suppose the promise of presents will do that to anyone. 

“And... What else? I don't want to leave the house.”

Very real, Mr Fulford-Brown. Very real. We relate. Truer words have never been said. 

Mr Golland:

Meanwhile, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum…

“Well, so the last couple years, we’ve been doing a hike on Christmas day”

Wow. Impressive. Doing intense physical activity on Christmas (in the cold!!) seems far less appealing to me than staying in the warmth, safety and comfortable confinement of your home, but each to their own. It’s very on brand for a Geography teacher so we’ll let it slide. Our high-stakes investigative journalism (you’re welcome) then led us to uncover the even more shockingly strenuous Christmas activity Mr Golland partakes in:

“I quite like cold water swimming, yeah, so I will probably go for a cold water swim on Christmas day as well with a friend.”

I have no more words left. This sounds more like a punishment than a fun Christmas tradition. It must be said, however, that the commitment to adventure is commendable so we can’t be too scathing about this as much as we are (and trust me, we are) utterly horrified. 

Ms Andrade:

“Oh, stay at home. I don’t want anything cold or wet, thank you very much.”

Iconic. Also, very relatable (glad to see we’re back on safer ground) and equally polite. While we are logically aware that the ‘thank you very much’ was probably a figure of speech, we are choosing to take it as a sign of our prowess and thus approve wholeheartedly. Take note: we can be very easily won over by flattery.

“We have the baby Jesus on the crib and if we’re at my sister’s we go for a walk and score the houses’ decorations.”

Leave it to the physics teacher to turn Christmas into a research experiment and gather data. Must confess: I’m slightly confused (and terrified) by the prospect of ‘scoring’ houses. What does this entail, exactly? I’m picturing some Strictly style placards with bedazzled numbers on them and, honestly, it sounds fun.

Mr Grimble:

“My family is sort of increasingly spread out over the country a little bit, so it becomes that time where the kind of gravitational pull of home brings everyone back now for a few days, not terribly exciting but lots of cooking, lots of conversation and a nice fire going.”

How touching. I would like to make some sort of snarky remark (as is customary for us here at Unpublished) but unfortunately, as basic as it is, this just seems like wholesome fun so we have no choice but to approve, much to the dismay of our avid readers. 

“My mother is increasingly allowing more people to take over the kitchen. I think she’s quite a territorial cook. I’m wearing her down … There’s a very good Swedish dish called something like Brunkål which uses white cabbage and cardamom and it's a very sort of sweet, nice kind of savoury cabbage.”

After looking this dish up (because I readily confess I am, shockingly enough, not up to date with Swedish cabbage) it does seem quite tasty. However, Google says that it’s actually a brown cabbage dish, not white. #awkward. Get your facts right, Mr Grimble. 

Mr Carroll:

After asking him our initial question, there was a very long pause while he sat and contemplatively chewed on a biscuit before he gave us this wonderfully elaborate response:

“...no.”

10/10. No notes. Couldn’t have said it better myself. But, seeing as we have journalistic skills beyond the comprehension of mere mortal minds, we pushed further, resulting in this wonderfully revealing exchange:

“A favourite dish?”

more chewing “Not really” 

“Cool….. I don't like turkey” 

“Yeah well you know…. No one goes ‘Wow, that’s a great turkey’”

“Right yeah…..”

“It’s all for the kids, isn't it? Like the dinners, presents, order of the movies”

“Do you have a favourite movie?” 

“The Santa Claus” 

“Santa Claus?”

“THE Santa Claus. It isn’t up for debate.”

“I'll watch it and get back to you” 

“No, you don't have to. It isn't up for debate.” 

Well, folks, it seems as though we have a new Grinch living among us. Very unfortunate. So much to unpack here. Firstly, the age old mystery: why so much disdain about turkeys? What have they ever done to you? Secondly, the notion that Christmas is purely for children is simply too depressing to think about. Christmas cheer is for everyone. Spread the joy. Lastly, after a quick Google, I have discovered that the aptly named ‘The Santa Claus’ is not just one movie, but rather a trilogy. Shocking. Who knew it was that popular? Despite Mr Carroll’s vehement proclamation that it is insurmountably superior to any other Christmas movie, at Unpublished we firmly believe in firsthand journalistic integrity so we will most definitely be taking a look at this. Movie marathon, anyone? 

Ms Price:

Although she was actively trying to run away from us as she spoke (not cool; are we that scary?) we still managed to get this sweet revelation from her: 

“I go out with my father to the cinema and watch ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’. It’s the only film that makes my dad cry. We do this every year around Christmas.”

And just when I thought all hope for Christmas spirit was lost. This takes the crown for the most wholesome. We love to see some good old fashioned family bonding so we’ll let the apparent hesitation slide just this once. 

Dr Goodall:

Before embarking on discussions of traditions and festivities, we first had to address the elephant in the room: Dr Goodall’s hatred of Christmas. #shocker #notok.

“Every year I was forced to spend Christmas at my grandparents’ house in the countryside and it was freezing and my room would be so cold and drafty I could never sleep. Since then, I’ve never been able to enjoy Christmas.” 

Truly horrifying stuff. Definitely not at all what happens when winter arrives. Have we ever considered that perhaps this is a hatred of the weather (honestly, me too, carrying my Spanish textbook home in the rain is not for the faint of heart) and not Christmas itself? Food for thought. 

“Is there anything at all that you do like about Christmas?”

“When it’s over.”

“What about presents?”

“Waste of time.” 

I can’t think of a single thing to say to make this less appalling. Where is the whimsy? Let’s bring back the festive cheer. Please. 

Miss James: 

After conversing about the more touching (see: basic #sorrynotsorry) traditions of caroling and neighbourly bonding, we finally uncovered the juicier information that our loyal fans actually want to hear about. Once again, please thank our journalistic excellence. You’re welcome. For her Betwixtmas (yes, it’s a real word) plans, she is visiting the ‘palace of a prince’ she ‘met at Uni’.

“Like, yeah, it's this enormous estate in Yorkshire it's absolutely incredible.”

I am flabbergasted. My flabbers have been gasted. Apparently, I’m hanging out with the wrong people. Upon our reflection of needing to find a prince in order to spend our own Betwixtmases at a castle, Ms James wisely proclaimed that:

“You don’t go looking for a prince, they find you.”

Wise words, indeed. Truly, a sentiment to live by. Could not have given better advice myself. Iconic. 

Mr Sumner: 

“My parents have a house in the countryside so we will probably be going down there with my wife and my daughter, for like three or four days. Really not much more than eating and walking the dogs. But it's just nice to have some time together.”

Grounding ourselves back in reality for a moment (castles and princes are too much for my mind to comprehend, unfortunately), this honestly sounds like the perfect holiday. Food and dogs. Ideal combo. 

“What are the dogs called?”

“They are called Poppy and Anna.”

“So cute.” 

“Not in that order, actually. I should say, Anna is the mother. She was there first. It should be Anna and Poppy.”

Well this is certainly enough to melt my cold, unfeeling heart. Not sure if the order in which names are spoken must also be the same as the chronology of birthdates… but alright. Does this apply to humans as well? Even more food for thought. 

Mr Webb-Strong:

After being referred to his supposed ‘agent’ and being put on hold for two weeks (not best pleased), we apparently caught him at a bad time…

“…I just need to adjust myself from not thinking about maths for a second.”

Very fair, IB maths will do that to any person. We eventually managed to extract information about his plans from last year:

“I was in Malaysia, I was with my sister, she was in Singapore and I went over to visit her. We were up in the mountains of Malaysia. We were just going on lots of nice little hikes around. I don't travel every year, it just depends on the year.”

I’m so jealous. I want to go to the mountains of Malaysia. #sonotfair (side note: no clue what’s gotten into me but I’m loving these hashtags right now and I know they’re ‘so 2017!!’ but this is my article and I can do whatever I want). Also, hikes seem to be gaining popularity as festive activities? Who would have thought? Too much physical exertion for me personally on a day where you should be eating your body weight in turkey stuffing, but that’s just me. 

Well folks, there you have it. Maybe you’ve been inspired to try something new this year. Maybe not. Either way, we’re certain you will have enjoyed reading about our teachers’ festive traditions and plans. Until next time.

Xoxo,

Unpublished