From the infamously larger-than-life backpacks to the iPad game obsessions, just exactly how embarrassing were we in Year 7? Having read your plentiful responses to our student-wide survey, I think I can confidently state that no matter how different you may think a fresh batch of Yr 7s are, at that infamous age we are all indiscriminately bound by the same motivation to do things we now regret. However, when all is said and done, we all know our school would not be the same without those never-ending games of hide and seek or blurred bodies rushing toward the lunch hall queue - after all, where would all those French/German/Italian Cinema clubs be without their eager (and sweet-bribed) Yr 7 audience?
A huge thank you to your very unrestrained candour. Without further ado…we humbly present our readers with: Godolphin’s Most Embarrassing Year 7 Moments.
“Wore silver cat ears to school. Everyday. For nearly a year”
“Having an in detail discussion with a friend about which teachers new haircut was better then turning around to realise the same exact teachers in question had been behind us all the time, listening”
“On house quoit day, I accidentally threw a quoit at the supervising teacher”
“My mum bought me shoes that were too small for me so in exams I got so uncomfortable that I took them off in the middle of exams. It was super weird and the teacher then asked me after if I could keep my shoes on in the future because my feet were distracting.”
“During high jump on sports day, I had done my run up and I was about to jump, but I ended up just rugby tackling the pole mid- air ( which involved jumping forwards onto the pole and dragging it down onto the mat with me, while also hurdling it and the mat at the same time), I landed on the pole, grazing my arms. When I looked up I realised the whole sports hall had seen it.”
“Drama lesson moo offs”
“I drank out of the used water cups for a term”
“I was walking towards the staff vs students netball match in year 7 and Mr Foggoa was playing. I started telling everyone, “I bet Mr Foggoa is going to lose!” I was then walking towards the gym and continued telling people, not realising Mr Foggoa was right there the entire time…”
“had a personal 1 to 1 on google meets w mr barratt cus I went to the toilet during a lesson”
“When we learnt about reproduction in Y7 Biology, one lesson we had to investigate different STDs and their characteristics/ how they are transmitted etc. My table got Chlamydia (to research), and the NHS website told me it could be transmitted via oral sex. Low and behold Y7 me did not know what this was, so being the naturally curious and inquisitive student that I was, I shamelessly asked my male Biology teacher. When he gave me a very vague and non-descriptive answer (rightly so), I wasn't impressed bc I obvs needed to go above and beyond what was expected of me (needed that reward report) and add as much detail to my worksheet as possible. So, I proceeded to google "oral sex" on my school iPad. FYI this was before school wifi was heavily censored... He was walking around the tables and SAW ME DOING THIS and then said "(my name), you know ICT can see your search history" to which I responded - in classic smug Y7 fashion - "I know, I'll just tell them it was for Biology". LMAO. Unfortunately I did not get that reward report.”
“saw ms berwick in tescos, ran up to her to say hi only for her to walk past and air me”
“My friend convinced me to go to creative writing club with her at the start of the summer term. what we didn’t realise was that the sixth formers who ran it had a meeting, so we turned up and no-one was there. Then, using our year 7 intelligence, we decided it was a good idea to send an email (from my ipad) to the sixth formers who ran the club threatening to boycott the club if they didn’t bring us lots of chocolate the next week. Little did we know that their meeting was in fact with our form tutor, and let’s just say we got a talking to the next form time. We never showed up at the club again, and I am forever puzzled by how we escaped conduct concerns (it must have been the cuteness factor).”
“Wore skinny jeans the whole year. Transitioned to flared jeans out of shame.”
“walking in on a UVI in the sports changing room loos, and being so mortified I stood there for about 5 seconds, and then failed at closing the door before i ran out of the room - every time i saw her in the corridors I knew she knew I was the one who had walked in on her. I've never been gladder for a year group to leave.”
“Dr Woodbury was my history teacher at the time. We were learning about Harald Hadrada or the Battle of Bosworth or something like that, and I fell asleep on my desk. Violently woke up to Dr Woodbury wrapping his knuckles on my desk. Not v appreciated.”
“Thinking I was genuinely going to make the A team in netball, and I went around bragging to everyone that I would definitely make it. Guess what. I ended up on the F TEAM.”
I asked Teacher X in year 7 why she went by ‘Ms’. She told me it stood for ‘miscellaneous’. I was extremely persistent and I said ‘what’s miscellaneous?”. All the class had gone quiet and waited for an answer. She said ‘it can mean anything’. And I said ‘like what?’ She ended up explaining that different sexual orientations existed.
“In the last exam in exam week, I had finished and just handed in the paper when the teacher turned back to me and held her hand out saying something inaudible. Me being me, I took the gesture as a hand shake for finishing my exam so I took her and shook it. It turns out she was just asking for my green pen back”
“Me and my friend were doing a TikTok dance and then the form teacher walked in”
“I told all the sports teachers in the first week of year 7 that I was absolutely amazing at hockey (I had never played it before in my life) and then they got me up to demonstrate a drill and I ended up swinging my hockey stick like a tennis racket and hitting a girl in the head and giving her a minor concussion. This is why I am still not on the hockey team today and honestly, it’s for the better.”
“I hit my French teacher in the head with a cricket ball in my first week.”
“First day of year 7 I came into school wearing the wrong uniform as i had lived in a different country and bought the uniform of a different school.”
“My teacher used the google classroom bluetooth feature to airplay my ipad screen on to the board for my entire class to see. I was playing paper.io.”
“Head butting a sixth former.”
“We had an activity where each person had a compliment sheet and it was passed around the class. So you would get it back and there would be a bunch of compliments for you on it. Just standard y7 feel-good PSHE stuff. Well, on mine, someone (I have yet to find out who) wrote ‘Opinionated (in a good way)’. Out of everything anyone could ever have said about me, this person decided to aim for the jugular. They weren’t wrong, but it still hurts.
But this still pales in comparison to a compliment left on Person X’s sheet. Presumably the same person wrote on hers, ‘Short (in a good way)’. Can you be short in a bad way?? Was this mystery classmate trying to sneak in insults while disguising them as compliments by adding a brief ‘(in a good way)’, or were they just exceptionally trash at being nice to people? Going for ‘Short’ as a compliment, even if it is ‘(in a good way)’ seems like really low hanging fruit. Anyway, I was genuinely really mad at whoever this person was for a while because I was convinced I wasn’t opinionated at all, which is obviously ironic since by doing this I was expressing a strong opinion. I have now realised that in fact I am very opinionated, and definitely not in a good way. And the short comment was never publicly mentioned. Justice for Person X (who is a little short but as if that’s a bad thing. It’s just not a compliment).”
“I thought the sports hallway looked like a good slide, so I tried to slide down the hallway. Ms Joseph walked in and just looked at me and kept walking. I’ve never been the same since.”
“I fell out the window and landed on the floor with a rip in my skort (not huge)- so then I had to use a pin to tie it together and went to my dance class and covered it up with my giant sweater.”
“Violently cried for 2 hours following my first conduct concern in my Spanish class on day 3 of year 7 xxx Created an opp for life that day.”
“When my detention was just before the Year Seven play and I had to turn up in full, rustling Victorian attire”
“On our first Year 7 day, when we went around in groups, me and my friends went up to sixth form, thinking it was the language corridor, and started speaking French to a random teacher. when 20 sixth formers asked us what the hell we were doing we were mortified and ran back down the stairs”
“I was on my way to the form room returning from one of my (numerous) lunchtime clubs but I realised I might be late for reg so I decided that, to avoid this, I would go up the ‘down’ stairs (these were the days of the Covid one-way system). I was kind of crouching quite low as I was going along bc I didn’t want anyone to see me, but also running at the same time bc I didn’t want to be late. Unfortunately, because I was in this position, I didn’t notice teacher x coming down the stairs towards me. I head butted right into her and at the same time also managed to spill a glass of water which I was carrying all over her. I’ve never been able to work out if she still remembers me as that year 7 who so miraculously crashed into (and soaked) her whilst traversing the corridors like a mad animal.”
“When I sent an email to Mr Hackett saying ‘I love you’ when it was meant to be for my Mum.”
“My 2020 self trying to prove that I was different and quirky by blasting Dixie Damelio’s ‘Be Happy’ and Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘Drivers License’ from my iPad on full volume in the art room when my teacher left, but she came back before I had time to turn it off. That was my very first conduct concern…”
“Writing a story in my free time and sending it to my teacher for feedback. Was about this girl getting bullied and so because of this, I got pulled out of form to be asked whether I was okay and if I was the person from the story. Panicked and said it wasn’t and it was based off someone I knew from my old school.”
“Not the most embarrassing but only one I remember right now: I lost my bag with my new school iPad the day after I got it on the tube. Had to go get it at a train station 2 hrs away from my house. Great start to Year 7.”
“Told my whole form unashamedly about how much I wanted to marry draco malfoy”
“Patting my form tutor on the head on the last day of term and thinking it made me look cool”
“Was caught by the cleaner trying to jump out of a ground floor window. Unfortunately for me I couldn’t make a quick escape since the skirt bit of my skort was hooked on the catch for the window latch. As I frantically struggled to free myself she told me she was going to get Dr Ramsey (my form room was directly opposite her office) - obviously being a year 7 this terrified me and I think I actually ripped my skort so that I could run away. I have no clue why I was doing this or why there was nobody else in my form room but I still avoid that cleaner to this day.”
“I would regularly go back through the lunch cue with a different mask on (my year 7 was back in covid times) on Fridays to get more curly fries. I’ve recently found out that the kitchen staff were all aware of this and didn’t say anything just to humour me.”
“Person X started a fidget spinner business and then got into beef with Person Y bc apparently she could not sell fidgets on her turf.”
Xoxo,
The Unpublished Team
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