My mum gave me the idea for this article. When I told her that I had nothing to write about and no time to think of anything, she suggested that I go to a cafe for the day, observe a stool, notice who sits on it and write some sort of blog about the stool and all it witnesses in a day.
At first, I laughed. In what version of reality would I drop everything I was doing just to write a blog about a stool as if it were a celebrity? Then, I realised how very Andy from ‘How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days’ it felt and so, in a desperate attempt to entertain the Unpublished readers and increase my journalistic credibility, I trekked off to a coffee shop for the day. To make this day even more interesting, I decided not to go to any coffee shop - but to actually go to a dog cafe.
It’s 10:45; the day is relatively bright, but freezing cold. I’m sitting in the corner of the cafe, proud of having secured the perfect location to spy on the unsuspecting customers. I have chosen a stool that is directly in my sight line, so that if the customer saw me watching, it would not be too suspicious. The stool is clean and tall. It seems peaceful. Will this last?
It’s 10:53. Our first victim has taken a seat. He’s quite small and has ginger hair - a thrilling start. He has no dog with him - slightly bizarre. (but then neither do I…) He sits on his phone in silence. I’m a little disappointed. The barista notices him. The barista asks what he wants. Our victim pretends to need a moment to think before ordering a black coffee. I think that a black coffee is rather chic, albeit terribly boring. He sits on his phone for a while longer. I see the barista bringing over the coffee. The man reaches out to take it and thanks the barista. There is an awkward fumble and the man spills a bit of the coffee on his hand and… tries to play it cool - quickly putting the mug down and shaking his hand. He makes the ‘fuh..hu.woooooh’ noise before going ‘That’s hot!’. The barista replies with ‘Oh. Are you alright?’. The man laughs and goes ‘yeaahhhhh, not to worry.’ The barista smiles at him and walks away. The man smiles to himself - proud that he experienced such pain and played it so cool. He drinks his coffee and at 11:12 he gets up, makes eye contact with the barista , gestures to his hand and goes ‘No burn’. The barista goes ‘oh, good’. Victim number one gets up and leaves. Relatively uneventful and frightfully quick, but could have been worse.
It’s 11:34 and after twenty two minutes of the stool being empty, just as I'm about to give in and go home, victim number two walks in and takes a seat. This time, it is a woman with blonde hair tied up in a claw clip (messy style). She has a little dog that is being carried in a full on personalised dog bag, black with pink rhinestones. The dog seems to be lying down, it is fluffy and white with a very squished face and its ‘hair’ seemed to be done in pigtails / a princess jasmine style hairdo which hair bobbles every few centimetres. The dog also has a pink bow. The lady sits down, unzips the bag and lets ‘Toto’ run around. She looks up at the barista (who I discovered was called Jeremy) and asks for a flat white and a ‘Puppacino’ for Toto. Turns out that a Puppacino is pet friendly whipped cream. Yum. Her flat white comes, she drinks it, she collects Toto (who had befriended a huge, black poodle) and heads out the door.
It’s 12:25 before our next victim arrives. It's a little, old lady who has grey and fluffy hair. She is followed into the cafe by a huge bulldog. The lady appears to be a regular and shares a hearty greeting with Jeremy. She orders porridge for herself, with a pink smoothie and some dog treats for ‘Zach’. The lady then takes out the newspaper from her bag whilst Zach walks aimlessly around the cafe. He just came up to me! The lady turned around and said ‘Oh darling, he likes you’. Then, I stroked Zach who then barked at me. I got really scared and the lady laughed and returned to the paper. Zach just stared at me for a while and then left. Thank God. After a while, the lady finished eating and took Zach away.
I know that it is only about 12:45 now, but I have a lot of work due on Monday so I am going to end here. I think that the stool had quite an interesting day. I wonder how it compares to a day in the life of a stool in a regular coffee shop or maybe even a hairdresser. I hope you enjoyed my morning in the dog cafe! For any budding creative writers out there - I definitely recommend this as a way to get some inspiration.
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