As Mariah Carey’s voice begins to blast through speakers and headphones, and more #ChristmasTikTok dances are learnt, the Godolphin student body prepares what it has been waiting most of the year to write: the infamous Xmas wish list. Apart from the obvious wishes of EPQ to be extended, days to be shortened, and January mocks to be, well, removed…what exactly brings joy and cheer to the hearts of Godolphin gals? As a (slightly premature) kickstart to the Christmas season, we’ve compiled the ultimate Godolphin Xmas Wishlist, featuring each year’s hottest, most desired items. Enjoy!
PS: due to the number of responses, we’ve had to slim it down to just a few items we feel capture the essence of each year xx
Year 7
Glow Recipe or Sol De Janeiro. Please don’t spend too much on me! 🤍🌸
We appreciate the idea that Yr 7s think Unpublished has the funding to go about fulfilling each and every dolphin’s xmas wish…(we were even sent some detailed and instructive Amazon links) unfortunately, this is just not the case. #realityhitshard 💔
Sephora, UO, subdued, brandy, lululemon
All timeless classics - practically Godolphin rite-of-passages. Levelled up when you shorten the infamous Brandy Melville to ‘Brandy’ - many visits have elevated you to a first-name basis, colloquial relationship.
Drunk elephant moisturiser.
Try and explain to your parents why a £90 moisturiser is a MUST and Boots own brand simply WON’T DO anymore. Same argument can be applied to Charlotte Tilbury night cream. Will probably be equally as unpersuasive. A girl can dream.
A giant teddy.
Particularly desired after wasting £40 trying to win said furred friend at winter wonderland! #whenwilltheylearn #itsrigged
Squishmellow plushie toy.
Enough said.
Year 8
long champ bag xx
French luxury and style taking the Year 8s by storm - I distinctly remember sporting leggings and the infamous Kanken bag (in shades both purple and orange), and am slightly surprised at the glamour 12/13 year-olds are exhibiting when they should definitely still be in their mandatory awkward-and-embarrassing stage. How else can their Snapchat Flashback Memories fulfil the purpose of haunting them in the years to come?
MINI WAFFLE MAKERS AHHH. Or those summer Fridays lip butter things, I keep on having to sniff my friends during Latin because they just smell so gooddd.
In Latin, any distraction is a good distraction - don’t tell Mr Renshaw. However, waffle makers also sound like a must. A tough decision to make…
Fish earrings ❤️
This poses a paramount question: are these aquatic earpieces worn with or without the accompaniment of the aforementioned long champ bag xx? If any Year 8s could email privately to let us know the answer to this evident fashion crisis, we would be much obliged. Clearly we are not as in on the trends as we thought. Y2K evidently out the window. UPDATE: fish are in.
Year 9
A brain
Us too, Year 9s, us too. A better one would be preferable.
Less Makeup restrictions
An understandable obstacle everyone in the Godolphin community has faced before. Forcing you to take off your winged eyeliner - what a violation of your rights! (But, in retrospect, probably…definitely…for the best.) Most of the time these sentiments seldom come from a place of truth and usually come from the Year 9 emotional crisis which befalls all. Definitely packs a good punch regardless.
Everyone I know wants a Stanley - still don’t know what on Earth they are but I feel obligated to comment on the growing y9 Stanley obsession.
Ahh, the Stanley. I did actually see a Reel (yes I know it’s embarrassing to use Instagram Reels. Refrain from leaving disparaging comments please) where someone’s car caught on fire and in the midst of all the charred remains stood, in all its shiny pastel greatness, the formidable Stanley. Not sure how helpful it is for a water bottle to be ‘fireproof’, but evidently the requirements of daily life in Year 9 are not to be underestimated.
A toupee for my bald uncle
Selfless mention? Not quite sure what to make of this. Perhaps a little more context is needed. Hopefully Father Christmas will understand better than we do. (For sake of said uncle.)
Year 10
A boyfriend. It’s not funny anymore.
Felt 😔. Hang in there. Turn to the innumerable #girlboss and #womeninpower themed events Godolphin regularly hosts for support. You’ll get through this undoubtedly hard time, we know you will.
(Several named teachers)
Guys, let’s keep it legal please. We wouldn’t want to invoke another ‘Safety in School’ talk now would we? Poor Dr Badger has been through enough. Let the woman rest - so she can go and mix random elements of the Periodic Table in peace (or whatever it is chemistry people like to do in their free time)…
Charles leClerc
Biassed as I am, I think if the student body is electing a male candidate for the wish list, there are many men who would immediately take top spot. The guy who plays King George in Bridgertons Princess Charlotte spin-off gets an honourable mention, as well as the classics- Chuck Bass, young Leo etc… I therefore initially had no idea who this was. However, after having diligently watched a few edits, I can confirm he is a suitable candidate! Never thought I’d succumb to being a Formula 1 fangirl, but maybe 2024 will turn over a new leaf in us all.
A chalet in the Swiss alps
Perhaps the most Godolphin response we have seen yet. A want not a need? Special mention if it comes with Johnny from Chalet girl. Potential theme here? Honestly, we’ll take anything that includes Ed Westwick in the packaging.
Year 11
A life, GCSE’s to be cancelled, mocks to spontaneously combust, therapy (etc…)
Spoken like a true year 11, in the typical mournful tone of one who has left making quizlets far too late, and is now spending her Fridays diligently recapping spec points and making revision time-tables. (Special mention if they are the most unrealistic and unfathomable schedules you have ever laid eyes on. From personal experience, the eagerly scheduled ‘6 hours of history’ on Christmas DAY didn't go quite to plan. Learn from us and manage your time well!).
All 9s xxx
Can confirm that this was, in fact, top of my own Year 11 wish list. The looming shadows of GCSEs always proves a terrifying hurdle. Just wait until A-Levels/IB. Enjoy the god-given mark scheme memorisation whilst you can.
1461 platform doc martens
Having included the exact reference number, there was little choice left but to search these bad boys up and take a look firsthand. Very #darkacademia vibes. Perfect for fulfilling the classic if-I-look-better-then-I’ll-study-better train of thought. Thoughts and prayers go out to the horrific blisters this young dolphin will soon have xx (no, the Doc Martins special socks do not help. They are nothing more than daylight robbery).
That one Josh Hutcherson 2014 whistle edit
Approved. ;)
Sixth Form
A standup paddle to float away from the stress of IB
On behalf of the IB community, make that a bulk order. Amongst the myriad of abbreviations the IB world brings (EE, CAS, TOK), its students feel similarly compressed by its generous helpings of workload. As many well-being Form Times have time and time again instructed: taking a moment to live in the present (aka: dreaming of being anywhere but in front of a desk) is always a go-to. And if a standup paddle is what takes you to your happy place, who are we to judge? Paddle happily away.
Tissues to wipe away the tears
Very handy - and, coincidentally, also Christmassy, what with seasonal colds depleting the Sixth Form common room (and helpfully vacating sofa and beanbag spots). Both practical and festive. Bonus points if there are reindeers littered around the box.
A4 recycling lined paper pads
A slight change of tune from the misery and desperation that has evidently struck the Sixth Form - organisation and wallowing often go hand in hand. I can also vouch for this particular wish, as I seem to go through millions of A4 paper pads in worryingly short periods of time. They just seem to have a habit of disappearing. Rather like gum, the infamous phrase: “Please can I borrow some paper?” is much dreaded. Awkward to say no, annoying to say yes, the paper pad paradox seems inescapable. The only solution? More A4 paper pads.
No Clear Year-Group
The cheese bowl in the lunch hall to make a return
The people have spoken. The movement has begun. We will not back down. We ride at dawn. #BringBacktheCheese2024
Uggs (x8)
THE most popular Xmas wish. As a proud Uggs-owner myself, I can safely say the toasty-toes sensation boasts the same ranking as the feeling of hearing an examiner’s voice declaring the end of your last exam on my best-feelings-ever list. Yes, it’s really that good. However, don’t make the classic mistake of wearing your fluffy boots out in the rain - or you will end up with a sort of odd, wet, French tip look. Adorned by many, desired by few, inescapable by none.
Less (*fewer) unpublished articles 😈
Offence taken. We will be hunting you down to initiate interrogation at lunch. Watch out. You’ve been warned.
Ruby-embedded cheese grater for frozen Camembert
Having Googled “frozen Camembert”, I seem unable to justify the ruby-embedded nature of the required cheese grater. However, the flamboyance of this Xmas wish feels very Godolphin-y, so we have granted it an appearance in our article. You’re welcome.
Chris Evans
If Chris Hemsworth can be thrown in to make an avengers-themed festive bundle deal, this would definitely make my Christmas. Preferably with Australian accent included.
Chunky gold hoops
Timeless Godolphin staple. Do you even go to Godolphin if you don’t own a pair?
Some requests have unfortunately had to be censored, especially an overwhelming, potentially concerning (but nonetheless relatable!) influx of male names. Outstanding mentions go to ‘St Pauls boys’, ‘Nate Archibald’, and certain teachers. Despite the lack of reading skills (an astounding number of students seemed to neglect the clearly legible all-capitals-and-in-bold request to include year groups in their responses), we feel our job here is complete. Our brief experience as Father Christmas’ elves has been exhausting, to say the least.
Have a holly, jolly Christmas,
Xoxo
The Unpublished Team
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