That’s right. The infamous debate has officially come to your iPad screens. The Spotify vs Apple Music dispute has come to Godolphin.
Before we delve into the cutthroat arguments, I would like to proudly state that I am, have always been and will always be an Apple Music user. I predict this sentence will quite possibly draw some scandalised gasps from members of the Spotify-user community. Perhaps some will even try and seek me out with a post-article vengeance, set on preaching about their black-and-green-clad knight in shining armour, shoving various screens in my face and lamenting loudly at my audacity to opt for an alternative.
I kindly request that any enraged Spotify users refrain from doing the aforementioned.
Though many have before made fruitless attempts to sway my opinion, the number grew immensely once I made the decision to write this article - several groups of people came up to me, armed with shocked faces, brandishing the typical taken-aback phrase: “You don’t use Spotify?!” Twice, I even received an: “Ewww - don’t tell me you use Apple Music?!” Surprised that my choice of music provider evoked such disdain and faintly hurt that I should receive such a hasty rebuke, I felt a defensive (and possibly late-night-influenced) surge of compassion for the tarnished name of Apple Music. The time has come for the rivalry that divides so many to be subjected to the scrutiny of the Godolphin community.
To ensure the case was evenly argued, I interviewed two listeners from the Godolphin student body that were fortunate enough to enjoy the privilege of being hounded by an Unpublished writer - something I know is highly enviable and an experience everyone secretly wishes to someday have. Hang in there.
In order to keep my interviewees sufficiently humble (lest their heads swell too big from the honour of being featured), I’ve opted for the modesty of anonymity. Let the listening begin…
Listener: 01
Are you an Apple Music user or a Spotify user?
Spotify. To the core.
What are your opinions on Spotify?
I love it - it’s super easy to find stuff. I like that you can merge playlists with friends. It’s got an amazing layout - very appealing to the eye. Actually, I haven’t seen the Apple Music layout in a while…the last time I used Apple Music was ages ago. Oh! And Spotify Wrapped will always beat the weird Apple Music version - is it called Replay? I don’t know. I don’t actually care - Wrapped is better anyway.
What are your opinions on Apple Music?
Well, actually, I’ve got nothing against it - but I do have a problem with people who think they’re better because they use it. Like…why? Why would you ever think that?
At this point the interviewee offered a few examples of people she believed were “pompous Apple Music users”. Unfortunately, due to Unpublished’s strict anti-name-and-shame policy (currently being held at gunpoint by the Pastoral Team), I’m unable to disclose the names of said users - but you've been warned. They’re out there.
What is it that makes Spotify better than Apple Music?
It just knows what I want. Bit vague, but when pressed for more she followed up with: Like…it knows what genre of music I like. And it’s easy to use when looking for songs - I type in two letters and I’ve found what I’m searching for. I’ve never had a situation where I can’t find a song I want on Spotify. But do you know where I have? Apple Music. A sly but effective dig at the opponent here, clearly the contempt runs deep.
What is the best thing about Spotify?
The ease of use - Spotify is a no-stress music platform. It’s stress-free. You just press play, put on shuffle and it’s done. It’s easy to make playlists and it even gives you recommendations for additions to playlists - and if you don’t like them, you can just refresh and it’ll suggest new ones. Does Apple Music do that? No. And Spotify is super useful if you organise your playlists by ‘vibes’. I must admit, the emphasis on Spotify’s “stress-free” nature is definitely attractive. And, of course, it’s role in being the go-to platform for music listeners with vibe-assorted playlists. I expect this appeals to many dolphins who seek to fully immerse themselves in the illustrious ‘dark academia’ aesthetic.
Any comments to fellow Spotify users?
Just stay strong against the haters. They’re always going to hate.
If you could say one thing to Apple Music users, what would it be?
It’s really not that deep. It doesn’t matter. Stop coming at me, stop giving me evil looks - and stop calling us ‘Android users’! It’s Android-ist. Even though I’m actually not a big Android fan myself. But still.
An unexpected turn of events here as Listener 01 reveals the anti-Spotify (or rather anti-Android) prejudice that many clearly suffer from…truly a valuable inside scoop. Now, we progress onto Listener 02:
Listener: 02
Are you an Apple Music user or a Spotify user?
Apple Music user. Out and proud.
What are your opinions on Apple Music?
I think Apple Music's over-hated. People just love to hate on Apple Music. Spotify users are so…predisposed to having this hatred against it. They’ve been indoctrinated by the app - they have! Spotify is not built in, ok? I don’t know why Spotify’s become the ‘go-to’! I don’t know why Spotify is polarising its users against Apple Music! I understand if you don’t have an Apple product, ok? I understand if you are forced to use Spotify. But if you already have Apple Music and are choosing to use Spotify…you need to reconsider what you’re doing with your life. Wow. Truly, the voice of one who has consistently been unjustly marginalised. I can only imagine the kind of heavy burdens Listener 02 has had to lift in order to instinctively deliver this explosion of defensiveness. Really makes you think.
What are your opinions on Spotify?
Um, I have tried Spotify. I have used it before. And it’s just…messy, isn’t it? It’s black or white. I don’t like how you ‘like’ (said with utter disdain) playlists. No. I just don’t like the whole ‘like’ concept. In Apple, you ‘add’ (evident tone change here) . You add songs to your music library - it gives you a sense of purpose. You just ‘like’ a song? I could like a song but not want it in my Music Library! Spotify doesn’t seem very organised and I don’t like the layout.
What is it that makes Apple Music better than Spotify?
The first thing an Apple Music user will always say is the user interface. (As an Apple Music user myself, I feel very ignorant that I A- had to Google ‘user interface’ and B- had to reflect on my devotion to Apple Music, as ‘user interface’ was actually not the first thing that came to mind) It’s just…so pretty, the way it’s used. I know Godolphin girlies love to have an Apple ecosystem. They have the watch, they have the iPad, they have the phone, some people even have the headphones, ok? People love to have the family! Apple Music is the extra level on that, it works beautifully - especially with iOS 16. It takes up the Home Screen and blends with the song cover, so it’s really pretty. It just works better than Spotify because Apple makes it that way - Apple wants you to use Apple Music. And they’ve persuaded me. Also it’s literally proven that Apple Music has better quality of sound because, you know, it’s Apple. And there are like, 60 million more songs on Apple Music than there are on Spotify, so, yeah.
I apologise to our readers for the lengthy outpour of both emotion and detailed information. Apple? Sponsor this girl.
What is the best thing about Apple Music?
Oooh. All of the interviews. Apple Music hosts loads of ‘Apple Events’ with musicians - so there are loads of interviews and stuff that you can only listen to on Apple Music. Like a couple of weeks ago there was this Elton John interview, that I didn’t listen to but one of my friends wanted to - and they couldn’t. Because they had Spotify. (A heavy pause followed this statement, accompanied with a disapproving pair of raised eyebrows to emphasise Spotify letting down its users) There are loads of Apple-exclusive things that you just can’t listen to on Spotify.
Any comments to fellow Apple Music users?
Oh, I love you. We are the minority, we are discriminated against. Stay strong, don’t give in. I love you.
If you could say one thing to Spotify users, what would it be?
I feel only empathy for you. I feel pitiful that you’ve been pushed around the wrong path - because the Apple Music path is bright and lively, and the Spotify music path is this cesspool of idiots who just encourage each other. And you are not supreme. You are the inferior users.
Safe to say Listener 02 has a bright future ahead of them - either as a walking Apple advertisement or as an evil vampiristic viscount. I can imagine only a tall, cloaked, shadowy figure such as an evil vampiristic viscount could naturally come up with the phrase “I feel only empathy for you”. Who knew the Apple Music vs Spotify debate extended into the realm of supernatural beings?
Well, there it is. The case has been put forward, the arguments laid out before yourselves, the jury, to inspect and decide upon. Godolphin awaits your judgement.
MAKE YOUR CHOICE
Spotify
Apple Music
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