BEWARE: SPOILERS!
For many of us, I’m sure Jacqueline Wilson was a very prominent childhood figure - the endless amount of tear-stained pillows and pages still testify to her legendary greatness. Whether her books were memorable, or simply too horrifying to be forgotten, is a question commonly discussed among JW fans (bonus points if you were subscribed to her magazine!). Personally, I’m certain my innocent 8-year-old self could have easily been spared the whirlwind of tragic losses and frightening parents that haunted the pages of every story. This ‘relatable’ introduction to our teenage years not only shaped us into the strong, independent (and potentially damaged) girls we are today, but also paved the way for future ‘Booktok’ writers and readers alike.
I’m sure it has been quite a while since most of us have even touched the cover of a woeful Wilson work, so allow me to quickly refresh your memories with a thorough yet concise breakdown of JW’s very own go-to recipe for the perfect childhood storybook:
Considering the target audience consisted of overexcited 8-12 year old bookworms (calling myself out here), the typical plot suitably revolved around the three most pivotal characters: the angry father, the sad mother and the neglected daughter(s). Sometimes, if only to add a new element of despair and distress to the story, there might even be joyful additions of stage 3 cancer, bipolar mothers, sisters falling out of windows or even babies abandoned in bins - light stuff for the avid readers of Year 5! Not to mention the surprisingly consistent array of boy problems - just for the #relateableteenagerystuff. Apparently even the lives of desperate, homeless beggars are action-packed with Year 9-worthy drama. Clearly the extent to which teenage love stretches is not to be underestimated. To top it all off: a warm and sentimental ‘let's-just-hug-it-all-out’ ending - I think the phrase ‘calm after the storm’ would be an adequate description (the storm having lasted all 149 of 150 total pages).
Now, let’s get down to business. I’ll admit, it was difficult to slim down the wide array of her unforgettable works, but, after extensive reading (and crying), here we are. To honour many plagued childhoods, I’ve decided to delve into the depths of 5 of the most distressing Jacqueline Wilson books (in no particular order). My long-buried Year 4 trauma is about to be unleashed…you’ve been warned.
1) COOKIE
I’m not sure an explanation as to why this book was so damaging is even necessary - I think the front cover itself suffices. Not exactly sure as to why my childhood self thought the contents of a book whose front cover was decorated with smashed cookies would be joyful, but nevertheless, the first page was turned. Tears quickly followed. This book took my young heart into its clutches and tore it apart, repeatedly and mercilessly, with each fresh chapter - with the dramatic flair only Wilson herself could wield. I simply couldn’t understand why poor, sweet, Beauty and her angelic mother were so tormented, and Dad’s “flashing fits of rage” never failed to frighten, and were often the cause of numerous subsequent nightmares. However, I did enjoy the fact the book came in a cookie tin. Well done Wilson - artful as always.
2) MY SISTER JODIE
Oh. My. God. I cannot even exaggerate how many nights I spent sobbing over this tragedy. Having a bold, extroverted older sister myself, this book especially hit home - and for the week following it’s addition to the ever-growing Jacqueline Wilson section of my bookshelf, all the windows in my sister’s room remained curiously shut, sometimes even minutes after being opened. I think it was the unprecedented shock of the sibling dying, rather than the usual parent or pet, that troubled me most - this unimaginable, heart-wrenching plot twist soaked many a pillowcase. Though then again, which Jacqueline Wilson book hasn’t had a similar effect?
3) THE ILLUSTRATED MUM
I’ve got a bone to pick with this book and with the staff that allowed it to hold a spot on my primary school library bookshelf. Taking into consideration the fact that now, during my secondary school years, I would be HEAVILY censored if I were to write a simple synopsis of The Illustrated Mum - no, I do not think 9-year-olds should be allowed within a 5-mile radius of this particular Jacqueline Wilson book. Poor Dolphin and Star couldn’t catch a single break - any hint of a positive, uplifting twist in the tale was soon snuffed out by yet another disastrous stroke of Wilson’s vicious pen. And when everything just seemed to be getting back on track, Micky (the absent father) is suddenly brought back into the picture. No thanks.
4) VICKY ANGEL
Two best friends: one extroverted, one shy. If only I could say this was all there was to the story. In an unimaginable plot twist, Vicky (the extroverted best friend) is suddenly killed in a tragic car accident. And just to make matters worse, (because why on earth would we ever want our protagonists to have a good, or even peaceful, time) the two best friends had, of course, had a heated argument only moments before. Needless to say, the character feels overwhelmed with guilt - and that’s before her dead best friend begins visiting her regularly in the form of a ghost. I’m guessing JW’s English Lit GCSE Shakespeare piece was Macbeth. Talk about ‘supernatural soliciting’! (laugh. please.) I think in the weeks after reading this book, my fellow Yr 5 classmates would agree that I was the most exceedingly kind and considerate friend…almost as if I was terrified something bad would happen and I’d be haunted by their ghosts forever???? No, that couldn’t possibly be it.
5) DUSTBIN BABY
What wasn’t distressing about this book? The title itself should’ve provided a good hint of what lay past the front cover. Actually, the illustration on the front cover, of a girl literally drawn inside a bin, was a very clear warning sign. I evidently ignored it and, as a punishment, I don’t think my copy of this book actually contains a single dry page. I mean, what good could possibly happen in a book where the main character was abandoned as a baby in a rubbish bin? And there’s an additional character who goes by the nickname ‘Mack the Smack’? I don’t think much else needs to be said. I distinctly remember reading the phrase ‘book for older readers’ (ah, the warning we should have all listened to) somewhere on the blurb, but it was not written in bold enough print. I sobbed over just the first two chapters of this book - nevermind the other number that remained.
However, despite the numerous pillowcases, pages and people afflicted, I wouldn’t have wanted my childhood any other way. Once a JW fan, always a JW fan. Who knows how different all her readers would’ve turned out without a woeful Wilson work on their bedside table? Happy, perhaps...
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